Ninja Dancer

    "If I had to make a 'perfect' mom, I guess she would be something like you",my oldest son began to say,"except she wouldn't kiss me in public like you do, and pretend to be a ninja in Walmart          (I did it once to humor my 5 yr. old, geez!) and  she definitely WOULD NOT dance  around like a crazy person the way you do, oh and let's not forget about making us go bra shopping! But besides that, she would be very much like you."
As he  continued thinking of things I did and what  I could do differently not to embarrass him all the time,  I couldn't help but imagine him and his little brother sitting in a dark room with bras on their heads, creating a "perfect" mom from a  a barbie doll like a scene out of Weird Science.

 I also found myself relating to his begging for me to behave as I myself had begged the same of my own mother. And then it hit me! OH NO!!!  I am my mom reincarnated. You know that moment when you are 12 and you say to your mom, I'll never do that to my kids!!! Well, go ahead and smack yourself for being so naive. Reality is, we all grow up to be our moms. She loved to embarrass my sister and me. I thought about the things she did when I was growing up and how she got some sort of sick satisfaction out of embarrassing me, and now, being a mom myself, well, I hate to say it, but  I understand. She kissed me in public, she danced all the time, she tried to sing in front of my friends( she's no song bird), had laugh attacks in the middle of the store, etc.  It was horrible. But then last year,well, that was even  worse...
I almost lost my mom last year to throat cancer. It was very scary. Even though I am grown and have my own family, the thought of not having my mom to call on the phone was the hardest part for me to deal with. I sat by her bedside many nights watching her sleep, securing her hat around her then bald head, that I helped to shave, thinking of all she did for me as a woman and a mom. I thought of how I idolized her, still do, how she held me through breakups, how she fattened me up on her southern cooking, how she showed me how to care for my first child, and how she has just always been there, even when I didn't want her to be.The things she did then and now make me proud to have her as a mom and I'm even more proud to be just like her.
 As the list continued to grow  from my son into complete nonsense I couldn't help but smile and think one day you will do all of this to your own kids, and you will think back as say, " I too understand, I'm happy to be just like her."  (okay,well, maybe not the shopping for bras part).

To all of you who are moms or are future moms in the making, hang in there, and happy early mother's day!